"Conservatives" come in all shapes and stripes, sizes and styles. You may even think of yourself as a "conservative". You may define "conservative" as being cautious, frugal, traditional, Christian, perhaps even average American. You may believe in small government, low taxes, a strong defense and "traditional" values. These decriptions may well apply to the good-old-boy or gal out there in the populace, generally hard-working, meaning no harm, just trying to live their lives.

But these descriptions woefully fail to fully detail conservatives in positions of political, economic and cultural power, now and throughout American history. These individuals are a quantum leap apart from Mom and Pop Conservative. Conservative power-mongers are megalomaniacal, greed-serving, power-consolidating, exploitative and dangerous villains of the first order. Read that sentence again. It sounds like over-the-top hyperbole, but it is the simple truth. Conservative politicians and corporate, religious and cultural leaders have been among the most greedy, corrupt, incompetent and harmful individuals ever to walk the American landscape.

These thugs and pirates have plundered America's treasure, raped its landscape, attempted to keep huge swaths of the general public confused and ignorant, sent us into ill-conceived wars, and violate the Constitution at will. Even a cursory glance at American history will reveal a slimy litany of abuses perpetrated upon the American people, and the republic itself, by those of the conservative persuasion.

Have there been abuses by liberals? Of course. No one is immune to the temptations that await those in power. But a liberal must abandon their principles to engage in nefarious activity. Nefarious activity is built into the conservative ethos.

The depth of the depravity and damage wreaked by conservatives over the span of this nation's existence far exceeds the liberal record of small-time corruption and lapse of judgement. The past two American presidents are precisely cases in point. Bill Clinton engaged in a sex act in office. There are no excuses. It was stupid, a betrayal of the American people, a betrayal of his party. But no one was killed. The economy was not affected. America's standing in the world was not diminished. Not an iota of lasting damage to the republic was the result. Indeed, President Clinton left the nation in better shape than he received it. By contrast, George W. Bush presided over a seemingly endless parade of debacles, lies, secrets, scandals, record deficits, humiliations, incompetencies that actually did involve wars, people dying, an economy "in shambles" (John McCain's words), and the United States of America being left in a position severely worsened during his tenure.

Defining Conservatism:
It is important to understand a little background of conservativism. There have been conservatives and liberals throughout history. Classically, conservatives strive to maintain cultural, political and economic systems that support tradition, custom, status-quo and the economic advantage of their particular heirarchical clan or group (notably, wealthy males). Liberals are not so enamored by tradition, and continually strive for a more free and egalitarian society. Often times the clashes between conservative and liberal come down to change, progress that seeks to educate and liberate people. The liberals are for it; the conservatives are against it.

Socrates was a liberal; the Athenean court that convicted him of "corrupting the minds of the youth" (yep, liberals are always doing that) was conservative. Jesus was a liberal; the Pharisees who could not tolerate his egalitarian philosophy and demanded he be crucified by the Romans were conservative. Galileo and Copernicus were liberal; the Church that imprisoned them and demanded they rescind their scientific astronomical discoveries was conservative. The American founding fathers were liberal; King George, the British government, and the American British loyalists that wished to preserve the status quo of kingly rule were conservative. Charles Darwin was a liberal; the authorities (active even today) who would deny his seminal work on evolution were conservative. The pattern repeats itself throughout history.

The modern conservative movement dates back to the 18th Century's Age of Reason. Of course, the conservatives were against it.

Reason, or rationality, was a dangerous thing according to the so-called "father of modern conservatism", Edmund Burke (1729-1797). Ironically, for his day Burke was rather liberal. In the British Parliament of the late 18th Century, there were far more conservative viewpoints than Burke's; these proved so stupid no one claims them anymore. But Burke the conservative politician's deep distrust of the common man. Instead, he believed that an "oligarchy" of wealthy and educated elites were the natural rulers of any land, that the momentum of tradition, custom and heritage should prevail, and that the common man should not attempt to reason, but rather should bow to such higher authority.

In other words, don't think, conform is the undergirding of conservative philosophy. Faith and trust in tradition is at the core of why conservatives so often find themselves at odds with truth and progress.

Burke also set the early template for the conservative's sense of entitlement. The concepts known as "property rights" and "the free market" established that a man (i.e. a wealthy man) should have unfettered control over his possessions, including goods for sale, regardless of how his control over those possessions may interfere with another man's rights or the common good. The wealthier a man was, the more "property rights" he could expect to acrue, even to the detriment of all of society. Governments should not interfere or attempt regulation of such rights or the free market (except in so far as a government might assist such a wealthy man to even greater advantage over his competitors). Much later, conservatives would conspire to bring this very same concept to the benefit of corporations. Edmund Burke would have loved that, being a shareholder in the notorious British East India Company, a monopoly, which would even before his death play a pivotal role in the American Revolution.

Edmund Burke, the patron saint of conservatives, was quite different from America's founding fathers, who did believe in the rationality of the common man, and were very suspicious of oligarchy, aristocracy and corporations. Indeed, the American Revolution was instigated by revolt against a corporation! The Boston Tea Party was a protest against the monopoly that King George's (and Burke's) British East India Company attempted to foist upon the American colonies.

Anticipating the gathering power of business and corporations, even in his day, Thomas Jefferson wrote, "I hope we shall... crush in its birth the aristocracy of our moneyed corporations which dare already to challenge our government in a trial of strength, and bid defiance to the laws of our country." How prescient a warning, and how different a perspective from Edmund Burke and the conservatives.

Conservatism has always been about the rich and powerful. You Mom and Pop Conservatives are being hoodwinked by the real leaders of the conservatives who could not care less about you, and only care about power and money. The leaders of conservatism laugh at you; they think you an idiot, which they believe is proven by how easily you are led around by the nose. The wizards atop the conservative pyramid scheme are ever mindful that to prevail in their quest to maintain the status-quo that is beneficial to themselves and their aristocratic ilk, they must find a way to recruit great numbers of supporters who are willing to cast votes which may, actually, be against their own best interests.

How to do this? They certainly cannot be honest and say, "We are the party of, by and for the wealthy elite and corporations. Our credo is 'May the Rich get Richer.' Vote for us". But long ago, the conservatives realized they only had to divert and deceive, and divide and conquer. To do it was easy. Conservatives are natural liars, connivers and love keeping secrets from the general public. And to divide and conquer, they would simply have to capitalize (they do so love that word) on natural fear, ignorance and prejudice.

Thus the modern conservative politician's alchemic blend of "wedge issues" (gun control, abortion, immigration, gay marriage, stem cell research, etc.), diverting the public's attention from their real motivations (putting more money and power in the pockets of the wealthy elite and corporations), encouraging public amnesia about colossal conservative failures, stoking the fires of bigotry, prejudice and blind faith in tradition, heritage, culture, suppressing voter turnout, and tying all of this up in a pretty little red-white-and-blue wrapped bouquet of patriotism, completely fake though it may be.

A certain, very large, segment of the American population just eats it up! This toxic blend of jingoism, clan-mentality, greed, fear of the "other" and of "the end of our civilization as we know it" has actually delivered innumerable elections, local, state and national to the conservatives. You have to hand it to them, they know how to win. In the short run. In the long run, they always lose. Why? Because you can only struggle against truth and justice for a little while. In the end, "the end of our civilization as we know it" comes to pass, and guess what, it's better! Conservative tradition, custom, the status-quo always eventually gives way to liberal reason and rationale, to knowledge and scientific discoveries, to higher creativity and innovation, and even to greater morality than the older way ever provided.

Thus America broke away from England. Slavery was abolished. Women got the right to vote. Children were removed from workhouses. Workers unionized and got rights. Social Security came into existence. Black Americans received their full rights under the Constitution. Consumers got rights. The environment and endangered species became something to cherish and protect as national treasures. Gay Americans received rights. Conservatives fought, viciously, against each and every one of these advances. Thankfully, for all of us, they lost!

Conservatives will eventually lose the political, economic and cultural battles going on today, as well. Up until recently, they were on a winning roll. With his smiley face and perfect hair, Ronald Reagan conned the nation (and swaths of the rest of the world) into believing that the free market, deregulation, free trade, slashing taxes (particularly for the rich), corporate mergers, corporate welfare, corporate tax-evasion, union-busting, reliance on oil, de-emphasis on environmental protections, savings & loan bail-outs, scandals, clandestine wars, war on drugs, propping up ruthless dictators, arming Saddam Hussein, arming Osama bin Laden, running up record budget deficits, running up national debt, running up the trade deficit, giving corporations tax breaks to move factories and jobs to third world countries, privatization, cut-backs in social services, cut-backs in infrastructure, and eternally battling a boogie-man (back then it was the Soviets; now it's the terrorists... ahem, who we armed) were really, really, by golly-gosh, the way to go! In hindsight, we can clearly see how ALL of Reagan's policies that seemed peachy-keen at the time ending up running us straight into a ditch.

Bill Clinton did little to turn the tide in his first term in office, then was stymied by a Republican Congress later on, though he did manage to balance the budget by the time he left office, leaving his successor with an actual budget surplus. By the time George W. Bush took office, conservatives had the White House, the Congress, and the Supreme Court. It actually seemed possible that the conservatives might be able to pull off, by hook or crook, that elusive "permanent Republican majority" they had long dreamed of.

The permanent majority... so close, but then they went too far. Politically, Cheney-Bush was Reagan on steroids. Oh, my oh my, who could have predicted? Only all of history. Only conservative greed exceeds conservative incompetence. Let's consider the damage. 9/11 on his watch (while he was asleep at the wheel). The unfinished war in Afghanistan, now the longest war in American history. Osama bin Laden still on the loose. Iraq. Billions lost? Privatization debacles. Over 4,000 dead soldiers. Tens of thousands wounded and more coming home with PTSD. Possibly hundreds of thousands of dead Iraqis. Millions of Iraqis displaced. Trillions in debt from just the war in Iraq. Stop-loss, and America's military worn out and demoralized. America's moral compass smashed by an administration that believed in torture. America's standing in the world severely compromised. The utter incompetence of Katrina. The economy "in shambles" (John McCain's words, did we mention that?). Foreclosures. Bankruptcies. Joblessness. America's manufacturing base a memory. Not a finger lifted to combat Global Warming. Hardly a dime spent on American infrastructure. No serious effort at immigration reform. An ever deepening dependency on oil, particularly foreign oil.

The legacy of George W. Bush is a complete and utter disgrace, and a permanent stain upon America. Now it is crystal clear that conservative policies are no better now than they were back in the 1920s when the conservatives led us directly into the Great Depression. So it was not surprising in 2008 when the American public did exactly what it did in the election of 1932 and kicked the bums out!

The damage and disgrace was so great that many pudits predicted the complete demise of the Republican Party. But like zombies, they cannot be killed. And now they are back. Now blaming Obama and Democrats for the conservative wars of choice, for the ravaged economy, for the immigration mess Republicans refused to deal with. And, once again, hoping you quickly forget what they really stand for, and what they really did.

Now you know the basics of conservatism. Now you know that anyone who says that "liberals and conservatives, Republicans and Democrats, they are all the same" is either stupid or conniving (hello, Ralph Nader). They are anything but the same; they are polar opposites on the serious issues. Liberals support the American values of equality, opportunity, liberty, freedom and the pursuit of happiness, while conservatives really, deep down inside, oppose these values for all but their closest kith and kin.

Of course, we know that you conservatives out there in the cornfields of Iowa, the oil patches of West Texas, on the fishing boats of Alaska, the maple trees of Vermont, the forests of the Old South, are not like this at all. You really do love America. OK. Not knowing you personally, we will take your word for it. But know this: your conservative leaders are scoundrels of the highest order; always have been and always will be. They are liars and crooks and thieves. It's in their DNA. They don't believe in freedom, they don't believe in equality, they don't believe in opportunity for all, they don't believe in reason, they don't believe in science, they don't believe in the pursuit of happiness. They don't believe in small government. They don't believe in your religion. They believe in money and power. Period. They think you are dumb as a stump, and they do not have your best interests at heart... nor America's. They've been on the wrong side of every major issue in American history, from 1776 on through to today. Read your history, carefully, and follow the dollars... you will see who these "patriots" really are.